Portable B: The Presence Of Something Wonderful..

“The memories pulse through my brain as if they are my blood;

the retentions of nights spent with you

are the life-sustaining oxygen to my mind.

I crave the reviving structure

to the things that make me who I am.

My memories are the architecture of my identity.

It’s the recollection of beauty,

the consciousness of whimsy.

It’s the consummate,

unequaled

and tangible contingency

of freedom

and unadulterated emotion.

The remembrance of driving with

the windows down

through silent country roads-

the wind blowing through our hair-

of dirty feet and using grass as my only pillow,

the lawn mowers as my lullaby.

It’s the simple things that have the most meaning.

But above all, it was you.

The music was loud.

The days were hot.

The nights were cool,

and your voice was the soundtrack to my summer.”

It’s funny the way that one summer can change anything, the way it can change everything, the way it did change everything. Sometimes one summer is all you need.

This summer changed it all for me. I can say undoubtedly that this summer was the best summer of my life. Yes I understand, I am young, and therefore have only seen 18 summers, but out of all of them so far, this one has been my favorite. These past three months will hold a very special place in my mind and in my heart.

Sometimes I am so busy with life that I forget to live.

Sometimes I find myself saddened by the fact that my life spent as a teenager is almost over. Just as I am starting to get the hang of the awkward moment that IS teenage life, it’s fading away from me, slipping out of my grasp.

But seriously though, could you like not right now? Because if adult-hood could not find me, that would be great! Why can’t I just stay 18 for a few more years? Or, maybe, you know, like, a few more decades? In fact, can I just NOT grow up? Growing up would seriously cut into my schedule of being awesome!

But, I digress.

For me, it is so important to remember these moments- no matter how small they are - because most often help within the small things, the moments that are so easily missed, is when life happens.

Don’t get me wrong, this summer was overflowing with “B-I-G” moments, they were packed in there like sardines, more stuffed then a Chinese man’s stomach at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

I turned 18. HALLA TO BEING LEGAL.

I got my first car. YEAH FOR FREEDOM!

(Both happened on the same day, I might add.)

I went on a life changing missions trip to Africa.

Just to check a few off the list.

While I wouldn't trade those for anything, there was SO much more. I have come to realize that it was in all the “small” moments of my every day and ordinary life that the extraordinary things happened. There is a lot to be said about being young and free, crazy and sometimes dumb. However, it wasn’t about all that could be said, but what could be felt.

I have learned to always be on the search for the presence of something wonderful. Because it is there, I promise. And sometimes you have to adventure to find it, but that’s the fun of it.

One of the things I loved most was that this summer was spontaneously. Besides going to Africa in June, I had literally nothing on my calendar, yet somehow I managed to be doing something spur-of-the-moment every.single.day.

I had dance parties daily. Going to the lake was a weekly thing. Driving with the windows down and the radio LOUD was required. Laughing until I cried was enforced. Hugs were welcomed. And food fights (Yes, I am actually serious) were accidents. (I’m positive I’m not allowed to show my face at that Steak-N-Shake ever again.)

(Because how could you not take a picture after having a food fight. Shoutout to Roman for photo-bombing us)

This summer was just indescribable.

Completely amazing.

Incredibly whimsical.

Euphoria at its best.

And I am so incredibly grateful for all of it.

Falling in love with my life, falling in love with my friends and the AMAZING people they are, falling in love with the person I am morphing into, falling in love with morning, noon, and night, with truly everything, is something that is priceless.

Truly experiencing the world around me, the people I love, the people that love me back, new music, new food, a new everything, was altering for me.

Because of this summer I am forever changed.

It may have been the summer that stumbled upon me, but it was myself that I found.

It may have been the summer that I adventured through, but who I was that I discovered.

For it was not only the changing of a season, but a transformation within myself.

This summer changed everything.

(Summer included, but not limited to: late nights, LOTS of laughter, LOTS of hugs, piercings, music, singing, dancing, frolicking, late night trips to Walmart, late night trips in general, snuggling, cuddling, junk food, even more laughter, sleepovers, Starbucks, being chased around the Starbucks parking lot, loud music, more hugging, all nighter’s spent talking and star gazing, trampolines, polaroid’s, picture taking, recording music, traveling, traveling some more, traveling over 25,000 miles, ponytails, shorts, movie marathons, baking, selfies, sewing endless amounts of fabric, sleeping, adventuring, exploring, bonding with people, reading, creating, parks, volleyball, fireworks, road trips, movie soundtracks, snapchats, making new friends, new experiences, randomness, nostalgia, freedom SO.MUCH.LOVE., and SO.MANY.OTHER.GOOD. WONDERFUL.THINGS.)

P.S. I’m sorry to whoever had the clean up the ruins and debris from our food fight. It was Dayton’s fault. He started it.

Also, I’m sorry to Dayton for staining your shirt.

But you did have it coming.

That one time for my 18th birthday I piled myself and two of my guy best friends in the bed of my dad's truck. We were crammed jammed, and woke up in weird and awkward positions all night long, but it was definitely worth it!

We saw Brandon's car at Southlake Town Square, so we modeled on it. Turns out it wasn't and we were on a random stranger's car. That was ~~interesting....~~ Awkward! But it's whatever cause we are sexy...

Photoshoots in Denton Town Square. Don't let this selfie fool you. It was hotter than ~~Channing Tatum~~ hades. We were sweating like ~~whores in church~~ Beyonce after a concert.

That one time I took a last minute road trip and we drove across these things. So we had to take some selfies. #Modelstatus. You only wish to be as cool as us!