Before I start let me just say, yes, this post is five days
late. I am aware! My apologies. I have been having a cold hard case of writers
block. I feel as if I have run out of words, my messages have run dry. And I'm
sorry! But I'm trying my best, so have a little grace please, okay?!
While showering a few days ago, being the clumsy person that
I am, I somehow managed to get my shampoo....in BOTH MY EYES. There I was, singing Janis Joplin, thinking
and processes through the journey we call life. As I start to rinse and repeat,
I feel two streams of shampoo running down my forehead, and they simultaneously
fall into each eye. If that's not bad luck, I don't know what is. How that's
possible, I have no idea. But it happened, and let me tell you, it's not pleasant.
Why did this happen to me? Why do bad things happen to good
people? If only I could have stopped this from happening, comments of sarcasm
filling my head making me chuckle.
I stood there, like the idiot I am, trying to decide which
eye hurt the worst before I started washing them. I stood there debating, while
the stinging in my eyes increased. Why I stood there for so long, when I could
have taken action to wash out my eyes, I have no idea. Definitely not one of my
smartest moments.
I looked into my own eyes reflected to me in the mirror, crimson
puffiness was their quality. As I stood there, my hair wet, my eyes watering
(not crying), I became aware of how I felt like death seemed to be surrounding
me. It was in the moment that I realized
the irony of the situation.
I do not fear death. It is the great and big unknown, and
that is scary, but I do not fear it. With seeing the recent passing of
celebrities all over the news, and having two people I know suddenly pass away,
death became a very real thing to me. I
have always been aware of the fact that I am going to die. But it made me
realize how short life can truly be because the thing about death is that you
can never see it coming, you cannot predict it.
I think death is a lot like this situation, as silly as it
sounds. I didn’t see it coming, I couldn’t have predicted it. But once it
happens, it hurts. It leaves you with a physical sting and throbbing, to say
the least. After that, it takes you awhile to take action, to move on, and that
is totally okay. But at some point down the road, you have to move on. You
cannot sit in misery forever. I know it must be hard- harder than I can ever
imagine, or being to fathom, but just because someone else’s life has come to
an end, doesn't mean yours is supposed to.
I learned a lot about the grieving over the past week. I may
not know much, but this is what I do know…
The more you love, the more you lose. To love someone so
greatly and to lose them, means to grieve as greatly as you loved them. To love
no-one at all would mean to never grieve. But that is how you know yourself. I
know that when you lose someone, your only option is too grieve for as long as
you need too and then focus on how much you loved them. There comes a point
where you can no longer meditate on what you no longer have, because if you do,
you cannot move forward. If you never move forward, then that is where you will
be, forever locked in your grief.
I am so sorry if this is coming off harsh, or rude! I really
don’t mean to be! I am saying it with all the love in the world, I promise! In
fact, I’m inserting a digital hug!
I just felt this is something that needed to be said.
I think it is important to remember…
You are perishable
item. Life accordingly…
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